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Wednesday 10 August 2011

More Riots & Looting....



The looting has continued at the City of Manchester Stadium. There is only one trophy left in the cabinet...




 It's official! The recession is over! Shops across the UK have reported stock flying off the shelves at an unprecedented rate...


 Breaking News: Riots, thieving & looting across the UK! The citizens of London call it ' Totally appalling'. People in Birmingham say 'it's a disgrace'. Liverpool call it 'Monday'....
 
 




Bunch of looters broke into Huddersfield POLICE STATION and nicked all the SatNavs. Police say they're looking for Leeds.


Reports suggest 150 looters have broken into Birmingham City's "St. Andrews" football ground. Club officials are asking if this can be used as a record attendance...

Manchester City owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Nahyan has asked manager Roberto Mancini how close he is to a premier league winning side. Mancini replied "About 5 miles away"...


Things are quiet on the comedy front, so I’ve just got a temporary job. Washing dishes. Unfortunately, it's at Jodrell Bank.

The missus said she's leaving me because I never listen to her properly. Meat pie, chips, and mushy peas, I replied.


Two blondes were walking through the bush when they came across some tracks.One blonde says to the other " these are moose tracks " the other replies " they're not you Bozo, they are deer tracks" and they both began to argue. Three hours later the police report stated that two women were standing over some tracks when a train hit them.




Red sky at night ~ Shepherds delight?  Nope.  Red sky at night ~ Londons on fire!  (Plus Manchester/Nottingham/Birmingham) I pray that all my friends will live as long as the DFS fire sale continues!  You too can discover the elixir of mirth by visiting my all new joke blog. Click on www.ComedianUK.com and follow the link.  You can also gizza tweet on Twitter!  www.twitter.com/comedianuk .  Nick Clegg, Listen up! Get sweeping up that debris!  Davey
Cameron is-a-comin'!








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