Greet the interviewer as casually as you would your friends, like "Wassup dude?"
Bring a relative or pet with you.
If it's summer time, wear very little clothing so you can stay cool.
Also, wear bright, flashy colours, lots of jewelry, and extra cologne or
perfume to keep the mosquitoes away.
Play it cool by showing no enthusiasm for the job.
Or act desperate, like you'll take any job.
Ask about pay, holiday, coffee breaks and other things the company can do
for you, immmediately.
Brag about how many interviews and job offers you have lined up.
Always interrupt the interview to take cell-phone calls from your bookie or
pimp.
Shuffle through important papers, work samples and such so you look
important.
Eating, drinking, or smoking is a great "icebreaker!" Don't forget to share.
Occasionally, fidget or squirm to stay awake.
Tell the interviewer you intend to go after his or her job.
Knowing little to nothing about the company or job description will give you
extra things to talk about, so play dumb.
Ask for an advance of salary upfront, coz you have an appointment at Wetherspoons.
Make statements or ask questions that reveal negative, underlying
implications, such as, "What happens if I'm late a lot?"
Criticise a former employer, coworker or boss to show them you're tough.
Stop the interview early, to make it to another on time. This shows them you
are a "hot" prospect.
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