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Wednesday 1 January 2014

The New Year Party's Over When...



- You notice your tie sticking out of your fly.

- Someone uses your tongue for a coaster.

- You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

- You see your underwear hanging from the chandelier.

- You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

- You strike a match and light your nose.

- You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

- You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"

- You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

- You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

- You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

- You tell everyone you have to go home and the party's at your place.

- You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

- You yawn at the biggest bore in the room and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.

- You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

- You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

- You're at the dinner table and you ask the hostess to pass the bedpan.

- You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

- You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

- You realise you're the only one under the coffee table.




I'm NEVER drinking again...

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