OAP's Medicine Chest....

It has taken me many, many months of my retirement time, but I have just finished building my new Medicine Cabinet. I don’t know about you, but I think it was well worth the time and expenditure, so it was.

Disease Wine Daily dose Allergies Chardonay de Paeuf 1 glass Anaemia Graves 4 glasses Bronchitis Bourgogne or Bordeaux  ( + sugar and cinnamon ) 3 cups Constipation Anjou blanc  Vouvray 4 glasses Coronary arteries Dry Champagne 4 glasses Diarrhoea Beaujolais Nouveau 4 glasses Fever Champagne sec 1 bottle Heart Burgundy, Santenay Rouge 2 glasses Uric acid (ie gout) Sancerre, Pouilly Fume 4 glasses Hypertension Alsace, Sancerre 4 glasses Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glasses Depression Rhine 4 glasses Obesity Burgundy 4 glasses Obesity Rose Provence 1 bottle Rheumatism Champagne 4 glasses Excessive weight loss Chateau de Beaune 4 glasses From the British Association Of Retired Folk Q:Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a Waterstones bookstore under 'fiction'. Q:What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy.  If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done you'll have a place to live. Q:How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q:How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses. Q:Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q:Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory ? A: Storing something in memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem. Q:As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q:Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q:Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ? A: Nudity Q:What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique shops? A: "Gosh, I remember these."