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Tuesday 20 January 2015

The Police in the United Kingdom....

       

How do you tell the difference  between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

QUESTION:  You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you. You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it.  However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.  What do you do?
ANSWER:
English  Police  Officer:

Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.

1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?

2) Has he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

5) Am I dressed provocatively?

6) Could I run away?

7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand?

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?

9)  Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society?

10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me?

11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?

12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? 

13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my  job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?
 
14) What would be the consequences if this case was referred to the European Court of Human Rights?
 

Canadian Police  Officer:
BANG !

American Police  Officer:
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG !  BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG  !

'Click'...Reload...

BANG ! BANG ! BANG !  BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG  !

                

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