"To put it in gentleman's terms, if you've been out for a night and you're looking for a young lady and you pull one, you've done what you set out to do. We didn't look our best today but we've pulled. Some weeks the lady is good looking and some weeks they're not. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She may not have been the best looking lady we ended up taking home but it was still very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much and let's have coffee."
"Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark."
Holloway searches for a chink in the armour of Cristiano Ronaldo in his BBC column in 2008.
"He's six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking - he's got to have something wrong with him. Hopefully he's hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better!"
Holloway bounces back into management with Blackpool in 2009.
"One minute I was painting the lounge, the next I'm being asked to manage a Championship side. My wife will have to finish the glossing."
Holloway on his Blackpool players after the 4-1 defeat by his future employers Crystal Palace, also in October 2009.
"If you're a burglar, it's no good poncing about outside somebody's house, looking good with your swag bag ready. Just get in there, burgle them and come out. I don't advocate that obviously, it's just an analogy."
Holloway denies reports he is ready to leave Bloomfield Road in January 2010.
"I am more than happy [at Blackpool] and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easily curable."
Some more random Holloway one-liners....
"I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark."
"Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine-tuned by my mechanics. We take good care of him because we have to drive him every day, not just save him for weddings."
"'I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb."
"[Plymouth defender] Hasney Aljofree's bust his hooter. He can smell round corners now."
"I am a football manager. I can't see into the future. Last year I thought I was going to Cornwall on my holidays but I ended up going to Lyme Regis."
"Most of our fans get behind us and are fantastic, but those who don't should shut the hell up or they can come round my house and I will fight them."
"It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake."
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