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Saturday 17 November 2012

Battle of the sexes...

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said,
"You're an alphabet wife ..... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asks ... "What the hell does that mean?"
He said,"Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot".
She smiled happily and said ...
"Oh, that's so lovely, but what about I, J, K?"
He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"
The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles...

He was sitting watching Match of the Day when the Mrs came into the lounge and says "Fancy a shag Babe?"
He said, "After the football love"
She said, "You do realise that you can record it?"
He said, "Nice, you get the camcorder, I'll come upstairs when the footy finishes".

His girlfriend has just asked him how many women he's shagged.
He said, 'I really don't want to answer that love, you know I've had a past & I don't want to upset you!'
'C'mon' she said, 'I can handle it!'
So he had to sit there and count them all.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, you, 10, 11, 12."

I was at a wedding reception when the DJ announced all the married men out there go and stand by the person who makes your life worth living. The barman was crushed to death

She was in the bathroom for hours getting ready to go out when finally the door swung open and she said, "Honestly , do I look fat in this".
He replied, "Yes love, but to be fair, it's only a small bathroom".

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