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Monday, 9 November 2015

OAP's Medicine Chest....

It has taken me many, many months of my retirement time, but I have just finished building my new Medicine Cabinet. I don’t know about you, but I think it was well worth the time and expenditure, so it was.


Disease
Wine
Daily dose
Allergies
Chardonay de Paeuf
1 glass
Anaemia
Graves
4 glasses
Bronchitis
Bourgogne or Bordeaux 
( + sugar and cinnamon )
3 cups
Constipation
Anjou blanc  Vouvray
4 glasses
Coronary arteries
Dry Champagne
4 glasses
Diarrhoea
Beaujolais Nouveau
4 glasses
Fever
Champagne sec
1 bottle
Heart
Burgundy, Santenay Rouge
2 glasses
Uric acid (ie gout)
Sancerre, Pouilly Fume
4 glasses
Hypertension
Alsace, Sancerre
4 glasses
Menopause
Saint Emilion
4 glasses
Depression
Rhine
4 glasses
Obesity
Burgundy
4 glasses
Obesity
Rose Provence
1 bottle
Rheumatism
Champagne
4 glasses
Excessive weight loss
Chateau de Beaune
4 glasses
From the British Association Of Retired Folk
Q:Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a Waterstones bookstore under 'fiction'.
Q:What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy.  If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done you'll have a place to live.
Q:How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
Q:How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q:Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.
Q:Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory ?
A: Storing something in memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q:As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q:Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ?
A: Nudity
Q:What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique shops?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."



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