United Airlines.....

                       

1. Board the plane as a doctor - leave as a patient.

2, Would you like a neck pillow, or a neck brace?

3. We have Red Eye and Black Eye flights available!

4. We have an offer you can't refuse. No really.

5. Did you want a window seat or a concussion?

6. If we can't beat our competitors, we beat our customers.

7. We put the hospital in hospitality
.
8. Tell us your safe word at check in.

9. Now serving punch on all fights.

10. No volunteers? Unseat -> Beat -> Repeat ...

11. What do you call a doctor with two black eyes? A frequent flyer.

12.  Aisle, window or ringside seat, sir?

13. “Drag and Drop”

14. “Our prices can’t be beaten, but our passengers can”