Nut Screws Washers etc

                                     

A cleaning woman was minding her own business and washing the office hallway as usual at 7pm, when the office workers had gone for the day. She swished her mop from side to side, like James Brown passing the microphone from one hand to the other. Whilst she did this, a loon had escaped from the local nuthouse, and was on the loose in the same town. This man was a dangerous cookie, and had a history of minor sex offences, and general inhuman behaviour. The man went for the nearest place that looked like safe cover, yes.....the same office block. He could see no lights and plundered in. As he tacked his way around the corridors he slipped on the wet surface and slid straight into the woman washing the floor. Let's call her Edna, as that was her name. He bundled her into a store room and miserably attempted to molest her. This was the serious part of the story. Anyway, there were other cleaners in the building who came to Edna's rescue and she was saved from the loon by her washers in arms. The loon went back on the run and fled the scene without capture. He is probably a politician by now or managing a League One football team. I digress. The Sun newspaper got wind of the story via a local tinpot gazette and printed the following headline, which I think is superb. NUT SCREWS WASHER AND BOLTS.