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Thursday, 31 March 2016

Thoughts For Thursday.....

My goal for 2015 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu:

1. Chuck it in the bin.

2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spiders web.

I don't mean to brag but …… I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?

Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented … I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 50. I learn something new every day ……. and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night …… He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW!, Right?

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

PS: Sunday, March 27th, 2016 begins Daylight Savings Time. Don't forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.


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