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Tuesday 28 December 2010

2011 is a-comin'!!

Get ready for Happy New 2011! Get out of your old rut. Start a new rut. Spread malicious rumours on a daily basis. Stop returning things you borrow. Quit your job to pursue your lifelong dream of becoming a window cleaner. Celebrate Christmas everyday. Leave the decorations and the tree up until next year.

1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at oncoming vehicles. See them all slow down.
2. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
5. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
7. As often as possible, Skip rather than Walk.
8. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
9. Sing along at the opera.
10. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can't attend their party because you're "not in the mood."
11. When the money comes out of the Cash Machine, scream, "I won! I won!"
12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
13. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

"The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's
only one other choice." - Doug Larson.

Change is good, as long as I don't have to do anything differently. Visit my website and do it differently!

1 comment:

  1. Your list for how to maintain a healthy level of insanity in 2011 made me laugh out loud several times. You have a very funny sense of humor.