Cobblers...

October 2005
Keep it brief.... no matter how long it takes.

A lady walks into a chemists shop and asked for some cyanide.
Chemist asked her why she wanted cyanide.- She said" I want to
poison my husband"
Chemist said" I cant give you cyanide- its against the law and I
would lose my licence and get struck off.
Lady reaches in her purse and produces a picture of her husband in
bed with chemists wife.
Chemist says "Well now- why didn't you tell me you had a prescription".

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, "How long before
I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About
two hours."
The guy left.

A few days later the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked,
"How long before I can get a haircut?"
The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About three hours."


The guy left.
A week later the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How
long before I can get a haircut?"

The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a
half."
The guy left.
The barber turned to a friend and said, "Hey, Bill, do me a favour.
Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he
has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back."
A little while later Bill returned to the shop, laughing
hysterically The barber asked, "So where does that guy go when he leaves?"

Bill looked up, tears in his eyes and said, "Your house."




A charity pantomime in aid of paranoid schizophrenics decended into chaos yesterday, when somebody shouted "He's behind you! "