Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Old Lady: I am 94 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defence Attorney: Did you know him?
Old Lady: No, but he sure was friendly.
Defence Attorney: What happened after he sat down?
Old Lady: He started to rub my thigh.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him?
Old Lady: No, I didn't stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Little Old Lady: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my David died some 30 years ago.
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Old Lady: He began to rub all over my body.
Defence Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Old Lady: No, I did not stop him.
Defence Attorney: Why not?
Old Lady: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defence Attorney: What happened next?
Old Lady: Well, by then, I was feeling so spicy' that I just laid down and told him 'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
Defence Attorney: Did he take you?
Old Lady: Hell, no! He just yelled, 'April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little bastard.
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