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Thursday 10 May 2018

Gravity Always Lets Me Down....



I saw a report recently, about how gravity, which is a nonrenewable
resource, is gradually diminishing. Top scientists agree...  "With the
present rate of consumption, the earth's supply of gravity will be exhausted
before the 24th century."

There is a direct link between the vanishing of the ozone layer and decrease
in the earth's gravity supply. We're already seeing the effects of the
disappearance of the ozone layer, but we're not likely to see the effects of
vanishing gravity during our lifetimes. However, our children will probably
have to deal with the issue.

It is interesting to think of some of the results science has yet to
consider. The obvious impact will be on engineering (like keeping bridges
and buildings weighted down), but what about sports? Breaking records for
the high jump will become easier. Football kicks will likely grow longer and
an 82-yard field goal will not be unheard of. Limbo dancing will be more
difficult and even Louis Anderson will be able to run the hurdles.

Until scientists discover a cheaper alternative, we need to help...

Follow these simple suggestions:
(1)  Walk with a light step. Carry helium balloons if possible.
(2)  Use tape, magnets or glue instead of paperweights.
(3)  Give up skiing and skydiving for more horizontal sports like curling.
(4)  Avoid showers & take baths instead.
(5)  Don't hang all your clothes in the closet. Keep them in one big pile.
(6)  Stop flipping pancakes

This is no joke. What could be more serious? After all gravity is the
opposite of comedy! You may be laughing now, but just picture your great
grandchildren wearing safety tethers, unable to play outdoors for fear of
floating away in a wind storm. Please be gravity conscious.


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