The True Story....

                           

A true story reported by an English guy who was stopped and asked to give a breathalyser test. This particular English bloke lives near Le Bugue in the Dordogne and at the time he was stopped he was really bladdered! The gendarme signals to him to wind down the window then asks him if he has been drinking, and with slurring speech the English guy replies; 'Yeth, this morning I was at my (hic)..daughter's wedding, and as I don't like church much I went to the cafe opposite and had several beers.' 'Then during the wedding banquet I seem to remember downing three great bottles of wine; (hic)... a Corbieres, a Minervois and (hic)...a Faugeres.' 'Then to finish off during the celebrations.... and (hic) during the evening ...me and my mate Dave downed a bottle of Johnny Walker's black label.' Getting impatient the gendarme warns him; 'Do you understand I'm a policeman and have stopped you for an alcohol test'? The Englishman with a grin on his face replies; 'And do you understand that I'm English, same as my car, and that my wife is sitting in the other seat, at the steering wheel?'


                                       

I bumped into an old school friend on Wednesday. He started showing off, talking about his well paid job and top-of-the-range expensive sports car. Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said, "If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my missus." He said, "Why. Is she a stunner?" I sez, "No, she's an optician."

On the same subject, my wife seems to have two major problems:
1) Nothing to wear.
2) No room for all of her clothes.

Breaking News: The Car of the Year for 2017, as voted by Woman magazine is: A Blue one.

Thursday Thought: Winning isn't everything. Winning and gloating and rubbing their noses in it. That's everything.

                                       

This is my weekly book review. Knowledge is power! I've just finished the fifth book in the "learning to count" trilogy, also I bought a new thesaurus last week. It's nothing to write house about. Best book of the week was ‘Childish Retorts’ by Euan Hoozarmi.

Have you ever had an overwhelming desire to stand in the centre of the living room and just whiz around in circles but you were concerned that you’d get quite dizzy? Of course you have. Haven’t we all? Why doncha visit my website? www.ComedianUK.com and peruse my all new Jokey-Blog. You know it’s the right thing to do. All the cool kidz are at it!