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Thursday 8 December 2016

Have a Confucius Christmas!


Confucius Say:
It's ok to let a fool kiss you,but don't let a kiss fool you.

Confucius Say:
A kiss is just shopping upstairs for downstairs merchandise.

Confucius Say:
It is better to lose a lover than love a loser.

Confucius Say:
Man with a broken condom is called a daddy.

Confucius Say:
A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Confucius Say:
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out,
and you lose interest.

Confucius Say:
Viagra is like Disneyland ...a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Confucius Say:
It is much better to want mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.

Confucius Say:
A joke is like sex. Neither iany good if you don't get it.

Confucius Say:

If you screw secretary on table top, she becomes part of office furniture.

Confucius probably never said……

Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient.

Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.

Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent.

Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, but man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.

War does not determine who is right; it determines who is left.

Man who fights with wife all day gets no piece at night.

Man uses many nails to build crib, but only one screw to fill it.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Wise Man does not keep sledge hammer and slow computer in same room.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Woman with skirt up runs faster than man with pants down.

And, Confucius definitely did not say. . .

"Lion will not cheat on wife, but Tiger Wood!”

Neither did he ever say....

“Man who showers with lifebouy after impregnation won’t avoid partner pregnant with boy”.

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