Search This Blog

Tuesday 22 October 2013

The Door....

                                                                Height is important....

Have you ever walked into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses. Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what's known as an ‘Event Boundary’ in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale. Thank goodness for studies like this. It's not our age, it's that flamin’ door! Did I tell you about this already?

I was sauntering down Scropton Street yesterday morning and spotted this bloke who was on crutches and wearing a camouflage jacket. I said to him, “You can hide, but you can’t run!”

I entered my local paper's pun contest... I sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Sir Alex Ferguson has been honoured by having a road named after him outside Old Trafford.
Away fans are advised when driving down Sir Alex Ferguson Way, to add an extra nine minutes to their journey.

After being interviewed by the school administration committee, the prospective teacher said: "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behaviour, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages and instil in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride. You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a chequebook, and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behaviour, and ensure that they all pass their final exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.
You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for butter tokens. You want me to do all this, and then you tell me...... I CAN'T PRAY! or wear a little cross or say "Happy Christmas" because someone might take offence? "

Cilla Black & Carol Decker are opening a tool shop together. It's going to be called Cilla & Carol's tool shop.

Real time slows as you approach the speed of light, whereas time flies when you’re having fun! So if you go slower. Do you have more fun or do you just get more light? Visit my website: Email me: Now, get back to work. Spring has sprung! Top of Form

No comments:

Post a Comment