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Thursday 25 July 2013

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk ..

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk ..

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk . .

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk ...

a) Thanks for the offer, but I don't want to come back to your place.
b) Nope, no more beer for me, I've had enough.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no co-ordination.
I) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
k) Look, it would be great to sleep with you but I hardly know you.
l) That guy is looking at my wife but I am sure its just because he knows her or something. I'm not going to worry about it.
m) That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.
n) I must get to my bed as I could never have a really good sleep in that hedge / pavement / skip.
o) I really believe in staying sober
p) I honestly don't think the rest of the city centre wants to see my bare arse.
q) are not my bestest mate in the whole world. I've only known you for a few hours.
r) I'm sure those young women are extremely intelligent and have wonderful personalities.
s) Im sure my feet would be damaged for life if I take my shoes off and walk all the way home.
t) A cocktail followed by 4 tequilas ....surely that would be no good for my insides.
u) Me? go for a pee in the mens toilet because the ladies queue is too long? I don't think so.
v) I`ll just have a big glass of water before I go to bed so I don't have a hangover in the morning.
w) Of course I'm happy to pay the boundary charge, driver.
x) There goes last orders, just make mine's a coke.
y) Flipping heck.
z) Chip shop ? No thanks, I'm on a low fat diet.


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