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Saturday, 25 June 2011
The Great Mysteries of Golf...
"Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk." Grantland Rice
"If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is."
Horace G. Hutchinson
"Man blames fate for other accidents but feels personally responsible when he makes a hole in one."
"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling."
"Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at them."
"May thy ball lie in green pastures - and not in still waters."
"The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.
"It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. "
"They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that."
"If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death."
"Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness."
"If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
"I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced."
"My handicap? Woods and irons."
"I'm hitting the woods just great - but having a terrible time getting out of them! "
"The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course."
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
If I hit it right, it's a slice. If I hit it left, it's a hook. If I hit it straight, it's a miracle.
Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.