Frankie's Tallywacker....

 

A middle-aged man and woman, both in their early 50's, walk into the office of Dr Warwick Hunt, a sex therapist. The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”   The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”  The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such a mature couple are asking for sexual advice, that he agrees.  When the couple finishes, the doctor says, “There's absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, charges them £50, and says good bye.   A week later the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again.  The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.  This happens several weeks in a row. The couple make an appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.  Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, “I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?”  The man says, “We're not trying to find out anything.  She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges  £98. The Hilton charges £139. We do it here for £50, and I get £43 back from BUPA.”

        

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his tallywacker today behind the bike sheds!"  Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut."  Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mum asked, "Really small, was it?"  Sally replied, "No... Salty."

 

I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they use in the shower. 98% of them said "How the f**k did you get in here??"

During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. "Now I’m dropping this solid gold coin into this glass of acid.   Will it dissolve?"  "No, sir," a student called out.  "No?" queried the professor. "Perhaps you can explain why the gold coin won’t dissolve."  "Because if it would, you wouldn’t have dropped it in."

 

                                      

 

Life is akin to a party. You invite loads of people, some leave really early, whereas many stay all night long, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up very late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you clean up the shambles. Generally, they aren’t even the ones who created all the turmoil. These people are not just your true friends in life. They are the only ones that matter. I am your friend and you can visit my website 24/7. Just clickety-click on www.ComedianUK.com. You can email me: comedianuk@sky.com. Now, get back to work!