Fake Olympic Tickets....

BEWARE of fake Olympic tickets!! Apparently, the market is flooded with them. Just checked mine for the Womens Wheelchair Triple Jump Somersault and they seem quite genuine to me.  It reminds me of the time when I purchased a Rembrandt painting entitled 'Orgasm'.  That turned out to be a fake as well. 


MAN KILLED ON GOLF COURSE...
A foursome of men waiting at the men's tee while a fourball of ladies were hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies were taking their time. When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it 10 feet.
Then she went over and missed it completely.

Then she hacked it another ten feet and finally hacked it another five feet.  She looked up at the patiently waiting men and said apologetically,   "I guess all those fucking lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responded, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"     He never even had a chance to duck. He was 43.......
 
  I normally don't pass on any rude or nude stuff though it depends on what you define as rude. I accidentally found this site (after looking half the night). I feel that you're old enough and mature enough to handle this.
http://mr-desi.com/fun_pages/freeporn.html
 
Switching off the wife's life support machine was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.  Think about it. Have you ever tried to pull a plug from a socket, when you've got a glass of chilled chablis in one hand and a vuvuzela in the other? Good job that I'm ambidextrous innit!

Yes folks, it’s THAT time of year again! Now that the footie season has ground to a halt, it is time for yours truly to find alternative employment. This year, I am going to be working on a brand new ship! It is called the Carnival Breeze and features its very own comedy club, which I will be appearing in. I attach a photo of this magnificent vessel, moreover, you can take a virtual tour of the ship on
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsK4l2rKqTM
Don’t forget my website and Jokey-Bloggington is online 24/7 for your enjoyment, just click on

http://www.comedianuk.com/
 and all will be revealed. My email is: comedianuk@sky.com
 This column will reappear in the autumn, so until then, have a great summer, play Fruit Ninja
and chillax, like my mate Dave!  Watch out for Levenson!!