10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.
8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an
erection, fetch donner kebab & beer.
7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; Teach a person
to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Give a fish man
and it'll feed him for a month (or 2)
6 - Some people are like a Slinky... Not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the
stairs.
5 - Health freaks are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.
4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you 50 quid and a substantial
tax cut saves you 50p?
2 - In the 60s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions
of cars in Britain. But we haven't got a clue as to where thousands
of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put
the DVLA in charge of immigration...
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