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Thursday 5 July 2012

Wimbledon, Barclays, the weather and me!!!

                                                              You couldn't make it up!!!

It's my birthday today.  I was considering having a tattoo. I decided against it, primarily because I only have a small garden and thought that the neighbours would complain about the bagpipes.

Following on from Andy Murray's defeat yesterday, the missus sez, " I wish you were more like him".   "How do you mean?" , I replied, " By crying and being a lot more more emotional?"   "No", She said. "Try and come second"....

Seriously though, millions of our Caledonian neighbours will wake up today with massive hangovers and feeling badly let down.  So, no change there then!

When I got home late last night from a gig, the missus had left a note on the fridge. 'Going to stay at my mothers - it's not working'. I got a can of beer out of the fridge and it was chilled to perfection. Stoopid woman...

Breaking News: Fire crews are tackling a massive blaze at Robin Van Persies house. Police suspect it may be Arsene.

Fascinating Fact; Las Vegas and Wigan are the only two places on Earth where you can pay for sex in return for chips.

I've installed strobe lights in the bedroom. The missus looks like she's moving now during sex.

I've been working on a voluntary basis for The Samaritans but didn't feel like going in today. I phoned in sick and they talked me out of it.

And finally, the weather...

I cannot comprehend why folk are stressing about the July weather.  Tempestuous rain and thunderstorms, where we are getting a months rain in just one day. Would these people prefer a months sunshine in one day?   We already have that. Its called The Great British Summer time, innit.

Things to do during a thunderstorm...

Why do folk say ‘sound as a pound?’ The pound is far from sound at the moment. You don't see Italians going around saying 'Securo as a Euro', do you? But you can do a hokey-cokey with the jokey-oke from my Jokey-Blog. Just click on:   Roll on Autumn! Email me:


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