Have you noticed that all the leaves are falling from the trees? What is going on? Is that Kim Jong Un from North Korea up to summat? Either way, Theresa May must grasp the nettle, stop coughing and send Boris round with a rake, forthwith!
All these old programmes circulating on copious satellite channels!! I was watching the Gadget Show on Dave. I just can't wait to get one of them Walkmans!
Oh folly folly! I put my brand new iPhone under the pillow last night and went to kip. When I awoke, it had disappeared and a pound coin was in its place. Could this have been the Bluetooth fairy?
Surreal Joke of the Century: A male frog goes to see a clairvoyant. The psychic tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog becomes ecstatic, "This is absolutely fantastic! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says the psychic, "in her biology class."
Thought for Thursday: Never forget that if you help a man when he is in trouble, he will always remember you when he is in trouble again....
While I was walking the dogs, I discovered a suitcase in the woods containing four fox cubs. I phoned the RSPCA and the woman there asked me: "Are they moving?" I sez, "I don't know, but that would certainly explain the suitcase..."
The hypnotist class was truly appalling last night. Moreover, I really can’t fathom out exactly why I signed up for another five hundred lessons!
Barmy Albert always said "The first rule of theatre is to always leave them wanting more" Great bloke but a terrible anaesthetist...