Suzie, Suzie sitting in the shoe-shine shop. All day long she sits and shines. All day long, she shines and sits....
Old Mother Hunt had a low cut front, in the front of her country hunting farm.
While I was walking the dogs, I discovered a suitcase in the woods containing four fox cubs. I phoned the RSPCA and the woman there asked me: "Are they moving?" I sez, "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase..."
I've been on one of those 'cheap flights '. We flew alongside an Emirates plane, so we could watch their movie...
I just joined Liars Anonymous last night. Would you believe that they've already made me honorary president this morning....
I hate those Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves...
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Malcolm, we won't be long . Easy,boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, Malcolm, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here.
Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the
trolley, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "Malcolm, Malcolm, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool Malcolm." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Malcolm is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm Malcolm ... the little bastards name is Derek."
I hate those Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves...
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Malcolm, we won't be long . Easy,boy." Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, Malcolm, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here.
Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the
trolley, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "Malcolm, Malcolm, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool Malcolm." Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. Malcolm is very lucky to have you as his grandpa." "Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm Malcolm ... the little bastards name is Derek."
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